This was the first Email I received today:
GOOD DAY TO YOU,
GREETINGS IN THE NAME OF GOD,
My name is Mrs. Deborah Hutton; I am a dying woman who has decided to donate what I have to you/church. I am 50
years old and I was diagnosed for cancer for about 2 years ago, immediately after the death of my husband, who has
left me everything he worked for. I have been touched by God to donate from what I have inherited from my late
husband to you for the good work of God, rather than allow my relatives to use my husband hard earned funds
Please pray that the good Lord forgive me my sins. I have asked God to forgive me and I believe he has because He
is a merciful God. I will be going in for an operation in less than a month and I decided to WILL/donate the sum of
£850,000 (Eight Hundred and Fifty Thousand British Pounds) to you for the good work of the lord, and also to help
the motherless and less privilege and also for the assistance of the widows.
At the moment I cannot take any telephone calls right now due to the fact that my relatives are around me and my
health status. I have adjusted my WILL and my lawyer is aware I have changed my WILL. If you are a Godly person,
please contact my lawyer and he will arrange the transfer of the funds from my account to your preferred account. I
wish you all the best and may the good Lord bless you abundantly, and PLEASE use the funds well and always extend
the good work to others.
Please, Contact my lawyer, Barrister Frank White, with all these
specified email addresses-:
BARRISTER FRANK WHITE CHAMBERS
Telephone No: +44 (0) 704 573 1919
+44 (0) 704 573 1925
Fax: +44 (0) 707 505 5753
Please ensure that you copy all your correspondence to the email address above.
Please tell him that I have WILLED (£850,000.00) to you.
Good luck in all your future Endeavour’s!
Mrs. Deborah Hutton.
Here was my response:
… and, in the name of God, greetings to you, too. First, thanks for the bucks. Good choice on your part. There is no one more deserving.
Are you a Mets fan? I am and they’re in the midst of a terrible choke job. Would you pray for them?
Sorry about the lose of your hubby. It could be, however, a mixed blessing. You know how it goes, “… one less bell to answer, one less egg to fry…” [These lyrics are from a Bachrach/David song, sung by the 5th Demention. Are you up for some trivia? Name that song, if you’re still with us, Dorothy. May I call you Dotty? Do you remember Polka Dotty?] and all the other little niceties of being single.
As for your cancer. You know I’m no doctor, but you should get that looked at. Perhaps a faith healer who can turn the cancer to flatulence and then you can blow it out your arse. :-)