At the risk of sounding “wordy”…

October 19, 2007 at 1:41 pm (Unzipped Thoughts)

… The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly
contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.

2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.

6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.

8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been
run over by a steamroller.

10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.

11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.

12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there.

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1 Comment

  1. My Ghillie » At the risk of sounding “wordy”,.. said,

    […] Check it out! While looking through the blogosphere we stumbled on an interesting post today.Here’s a quick excerpt. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian […]

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