Oxymoron Week

February 21, 2008 at 12:28 pm (Life & Death, Unzipped Thoughts)

Dictionary definition:

Noun 1. oxymoron – conjoining contradictory terms (as in `deafening silence’)

In a post earlier in the week, I inadvertently offended a bunch of folks. If, gentle [and/or gentile] reader, you are among those whom I off-put, please get over it… and sign the paper so your child can get that operation for his or her appendicitis, bird brain.

I compiled a list from cyberspace of the most commonly used oxymorons, and sure enough #60 [the great Chuck Bednarik’s number] is Christian Science.

1. Jumbo shrimp

2. Guest host

3. Mutually exclusive

4. First-strike defense

5. Department of Interior (responsible for everything outside ..???…)

6. Pretty ugly

7. A little big

8. Recently new

9. Severely killed

10. Union workers

11. Good grief

12. Friendly competitor

13. Honest Lawyer

14. Committed schedule

15. Clean hack

16. Violent Agreement

17. This page intentionally left blank

18. “Thank God I’m an Atheist”

19. Better than New

20. One Size Fits All

21. Tax Return

22. Constant change

23. Paperless Office

24. Rapid Transit

25. Freezer burn

26. Inside out

27. New classic

28. Soft rock

29. Definite maybe

30. Act naturally

31. Taped live

32. Found missing

33. 12-ounce pound cake

34. Plastic glasses

35. Advanced BASIC

36. Exact estimate

37. Extinct life

38. Same difference

39. Working vacation

40. Clearly misunderstood

41. Almost exactly

42. Tight slacks

43. Passive aggressive

44. Silent scream

45. Terribly pleased

46. Sweet sorrow

47. Small crowd

48. Synthetic natural gas

49. Genuine imitation

50. Airline Food

51. Political Science

52. Government Organization

53. Military Intelligence

54. Temporary Tax Increase

55. Rap Music

56. Peacekeeping Force

57. Microsoft Works

58. Childproof

59. Religious Tolerance

60. Christian Science

61. Native American

62. Evolutionary Theory

63. Business Ethics

64. Honest Politician

65. Born dead

66. Bit to big

67. Thinking out

68. Quiet loudspeaker

69. Wind Burn

70. Terribly Good

71. Terrific Head Ache

72. Resident alien

73. Sanitary landfill

74. Alone together

75. Legally drunk

76. Living dead

77. Butt head

78. Peace force

79. Army intelligence

80. Living dead

81. Heartfelt Politics

82. Cafeteria Food

83. Drawing a blank

84. Positively negative

85. Deafening silence

86. Mournful optimist

87. Good beating

88. Quiet riot

89. Simple calculus

90. Civil war

91. Brilliantly dull

92. Mild jalepeno

93. Realistic liberal

94. Silent screaming

95. Shouting whispers

96. Hell’s angels

97. American beauty

98. Silent Women

99. The Peace War

100. Cat fish

101. Ethiopian Feast

102. Holy war

103. New and improved

104. Ghetto Punk

105. Good morning

106. Government assistance

107. A fine mess

108. Bittersweet

109. Peaceful war

110. Talkative mime

111. Tactical mass destruction

112. Sweet and sour sauce

113. Peaceful dragons (trust me on this one.)

114. Courage the Cowardly dog

115. Friendly fire (as in firearms)

116. Democratic dictatorship

117. Strangely normal

118. Little big horn

119. Plastic silverware

120. Lead astray

121. Cold sweat.

122. Metal wood (golf)

123. Waterproof washoff

124. Dry ice

125. Safe sex

126. Original copy

127. Cruel kindness

128. Laborious idleness

129. Industrial Action (usually means a strike)

130. Sweet tart

131. Icy hot

132. Real fake

133. Dull roar.

134. Loose tights.

135. Slow speed.

136. Non-fat cream.

137. Kosher ham.

138. Graduate student.

139. Virtual reality.

140. Constant variable.

141. Paid volunteer.

142. Science fiction.

143. Original copy.

144. Long shorts

145. Old news

146. Monopoly (broken down into suffix and prefix)

147. Dodge Ram

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